Divorce: How to tell your children?
Telling your children about the divorce is one of the most difficult parts of the entire divorce process. Children look to their parents for security, and a divorce inevitably changes the family base on which a child has come to depend.
It’s an important conversation because it gives parents a chance to try to lay the foundation for a healthy new start for the whole family. It is one of those moments that children will always remember. Which means that it must be done well, and with time.
Both parents should sit together to quietly share the news. To avoid conflict in front of children, parents must agree on what will be said in the conversation. It is a time when children need reassurance and the best way to do this is to teach children that both parents are still on the same team when it comes to parenting. What is said in that conversation will depend on the age of the children. And it’s a good idea to let them ask questions instead of giving them too much information.
Another point that must be taken into account is custody. If they are not yet well decided on the subject, they should also share it with the children. For example, “We both love you and we both want to be with you. We are trying to find out what is best for you. “ Avoid talking about financial matters with children, it is unnecessary. And it should be clarified that they are not the culprits of the separation.
There are some children who, after seeing so many discussions, are relieved of the decision. But there will be others who do not, and on the contrary, they react annoyed or guilty.
In the way children react, parents must listen fully.