My child aggressively demands my attention. Why?
It is normal that young children need our attention and that they make it known with strong claims. They claim us because they need help, to show us any achievements they have made or to play with them. Knowing that we are there for them gives them a sense of self-assurance. But why do some children constantly attract attention?
When our children claim our attention, they usually do so because they need our approval of what they are doing. They want to show us their achievements, their work, their new movements or inventions, and it is important that we pay attention to them, since in this way we show them that we care about them, that we trust them and also that gives them the security to grow and develop better. There will be moments in the development of our children where they will not know how to wait and when they demand our attention, they will need it to be NOW! That means no delay.
It is in these moments where we, as parents, know how to set limits for children. If we always attend to them immediately for everything and without waiting, it is possible that in the future, when children attract attention, they will do so in a more aggressive way. Something that I must make clear to parents is that setting limits to children does not mean ignoring them, but rather teaching them how and in what way they are going to be cared for. It is important to attend and give attention to children, but it is just as important to teach them to wait and that patience is a virtue.
When children have more severe tantrums than at the beginning it may be due to changes that are happening in their life. For example, the arrival of a new brother, change of school or new income, a family breakdown, etc. The insecurity that these changes could generate, make children attract more attention. In this case, the important thing is to pay attention not so much to the child’s behavior, but rather to the causes that originate from it. Talking with them can be of great help, knowing that they are worried or that they are restless. Parents can provide the child with explanations or information that can reassure them and reduce aggressive behaviors.
Some causes that can generate this behavior could be:
- Problems with another child at school or friend.
- Insecure or overly dependent children.
- Need to be the only center of attention.
In general, children attract our attention and it is normal in their development, but it will depend on how these “calls for attention” are produced, which may indicate that perhaps something is not going well at all, either due to inappropriate educational guidelines or for some emotional problem in the child.
Therefore, parents must be attentive to the changes that their children are making and in what way, if you have any questions, do not hesitate to consult a pedagogical specialist and thus ensure that everything is going well or if there is a problem that arises. should try.